Module 2: Assignment 2

I exhibit several different types of masks when I am around different people. I try to be the energetic crazy person when I am with my friends, and I am always ready to try anything that we decide to do that particular night. I talk loudly and sometimes just to add something into the conversation, and more often than not, I will agree with what they have to say because it is easier than being difficult. I love hanging out with my friends, but with a certain group of them, I feel like it’s just a big competition to see who can talk the most about themselves without seeming self-conceited. With my other groups of friends, I feel more comfortable to just be myself and speak what I believe. I use current slang words and the latest clichés when I am around my friends; however, I am careful about some of the things I say to them because gossip spreads like wildfire through peers.
I speak much differently when I am around my professors or other high authorities. I talk to them with the utmost respect, even if I don’t completely respect them. I use my most formal language, and even change my body language. I hold myself more upright and walk more gracefully (or try to) when I’m around my professors than when I am just hanging out with my friends. I try to speak to them like I am very interested in whatever they have to say to me, and I try to ask intelligent questions that they will appreciate.
When I volunteer at childhood events or take my little siblings anywhere with their friends, I try to be the “cool” big college student. Talking to them about subjects that they would not usually talk about amuses me because they are timid at first to talk about issues, and then they get more comfortable. I am very careful about the words I say around them, and the issues I bring up because I know they look up to me, and I don’t want to corrupt them. I also try to speak well to portray myself as a good person who never does anything bad because then that is what they will want to be.
When I am with my parents, I am their perfect little daughter, well sometimes. I strive to be what they and I both know I am capable of. I am also not afraid to speak my mind to them because, most of the time, they will not repeat anything I say. I am not afraid to tell them my accomplishments because they will never be jealous. I do refrain from saying everything I would love to say because my parents look down upon extremely harsh or even moderately harsh language.
So like America in “From American Dream to American Illusion,” I am struggling to portray that “perfect” image that would please everyone while actually hiding my true identities and ideas. I, like America, am starting to feel like I am losing the base fundamentals of myself. Society’s words and opinions are affecting me more and more each year. I am beginning to lose my morals and my ideas for fear that I will stray from that “perfect” image. After rereading through my different “languages,” I would say I am most sincerely myself when I am with my parents. There I am not afraid to feel stupid when I say what’s on my mind. I feel like I can truly express myself, and they will support me and encourage me to do better without feeling jealous of my accomplishments. All the other “languages” I speak have little parts of my true self in them, but not as much as my “language” with my parents. For example, I truly am a person who loves spontaneity and trying new things. I also enjoy speaking well and precisely to some of the most important people in our society. Of course I love being the role model in a person’s life, so I don’t mind speaking like one sometimes. So even though perfection is an impossible feat, I'm trying to attain it through my ideals rather than through my image.